There's nothing I hate more than being blackmailed.

Absolutey nothing.

Chloe Sullivan came over to the mansion with Clark to interview me about level three, and various other things for her school newspaper. I hope she doesn't expect that kind of treatment to continue should she actually become a professional reporter. I don't much care for them unless they're on my payroll.

Still, I answered her questions and charmed her up until my father called. I decided it'd be best to leave the room, rather than argue with him over the phone and give her free material.

By the time I got away from my father's usual greek mythology lecture, I'd been robbed. Worse, Chloe had fallen from the balcony. Clark was already with her by the time I got down there, although I hung up with my dad right after I heard her scream.

I'm not wondering how he did that.

Am ambulance was called, and they went off to the hospital. Then I found out things could, in fact, get even more distressing. The thieves had managed to steal my most important disk. That disk contained the passwords and coding necessary to break into my father's computer, and also detailed the amounts I'd been taking from LuthorCorp to fund Hamilton's research.

Needless to say, I told the police nothing had been taken.

I went to the hospital the next morning to find Clark thoroughly convinced Chloe's accident was his responsibility. I tried to convince him it wasn't true, but he didn't believe me. I kept him in the loop all the same, informing him of what I'd learned about the robbery. That was probably a mistake.

I hadn't been home more than an hour when the thieves showed up again, interrupting a perfectly good over the phone fit regarding security. They'd accessed the disk, and discovered the account records. Of course they wanted money, two million dollars.

Two million dollars. I'm almost insulted.

On my way to the meeting place, I ran into Clark's love interest, Lana. She asked to speak with me inside of an abandoned building I'd recently bought from her aunt. I was curious, so I agreed.

Big mistake.

Lana wanted me to purchase the old theater we were conversing in. Why? Because her parents met there. And she actually seemed surprised when I didn't agree. What a vicious precedent that would be� if I bought the building her parents met in, soon everyone in Smallville would want me to buy the buildings their dead parents met in.

Alright, that would never happen. Because the majority of the world understands basic common sense.

Clark's taste in women definitely leaves something to be desired.

I went straight from Lana's fairy tale world of sentimental monuments to the warehouse district of blackmail. Of course I didn't bring the money. I've been accused of many things, but stupidity isn't one of them. Not only did they not bring the disk, but one of them then proceeded to choke me. Silly boy didn't realize that whenever I'm in danger, Clark will appear.

And appear he did, although only briefly. They were already leaving when he burst in, calling out worriedly for�

I can't even type it.

He'd been trailing the quarterback.

And yes, if you must know, I was offended.

I drove him back downtown, and explained the necessary details of the situation to him. He, in turn, told me about the quarterback's connection to the robbery. I tried to get him to realize he couldn't save everyone, but, I admit, he had an excellent retort prepared. He said, "I saved you, didn't I? That turned out alright." And he smiled sweetly.

I guess I wasn't really that offended.

I received a call the next night from Lana. The quarterback had apparently repented his stealing ways, and he and Clark were trying to get the disk back from the other members of the gang.

You know, if another crime is ever committed against me, I have no intention of calling the police. I'll just put in a call to the local highschool.

I showed up at the location Lana gave me, to find Clark on the floor, about to be attacked by one of the men. I gave him a mild electric shock and he passed out.

It was nice to be the one to rescue Clark, for a change.

Clark immediately seemed fine, insisting he had to go after the quarterback. He sure seems to have grown awfully fond of his enemy. I told him to wait, and let me call the police. I only turned my back for a second, to get my cell phone.

And he was gone.

I'm not wondering how he did that, either.

Really.

After I called the police, I waited for Clark to return. And I found my disk, crumpled on the ground. I'm not wondering about it, though. Not in the least. I wasn't even tempted to keep it.

Really.

Clark apologized about my losing the disk later, but I assured him the only reason I'd gone there at all was because he was in trouble. I meant it, too.

Clark can do that to a person.

I got home to find a message on my machine from Lana, asking me to meet with her the next morning.

To my surprise, she's actually managed to come up with a fairly decent business proposal for renovating her precious theater that didn't involve building a statue to the deceased.

Clark Kent's relationship with Lana didn't influence my decision in the least.

Really.

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